Your usual? Antonio asks.
Double espresso, per favore. Not many in today; it’s the weather. One day it’s pissing down, the next day you could fry an egg on the pavement, not that you would do that outside here: not with all the dog shit and cigarette ends. It’s going to get worse. 
The dog shit?
No, the climate.
Thanks for that, Nigel. Ever the optimist.
Do you know why they say the weather’s changed? Changes in the climate are natural; the ice age wasn’t caused by factories belching out crap because they didn’t exist back then. It was just natural. You’re wondering why anybody would tell lies about the climate. I’ll tell you. It’s to create fear; it’s a communist plot, an attack on the free world, on liberty. Making money, profit, will be a crime. Climate change is fake, made by bad men.
Is this going to be another rant? Antonio sighs.
No, I’m just explaining how we’ll survive.
If climate change is fake what’s the problem about survival?
Make capitalism strong again and survive extinction.
How? This doesn’t make sense.
Nigel looks left and right and whispers, It’s secret.
My café’s empty.
Walls have ears.
Go on, Antonio groans.
He said it was a secret.
Who?
He came to me in a dream.
Who?
Donald, Nigel replies.
Donald Duck?
Donald Trump.
A cartoon fucking duck! Antonio laughs. 
What’s that supposed to mean? Nigel asks.
Well, they’re both quackers.
You’ll be sorry when he’s President again. He’s going to take revenge on his enemies, abolish one person one vote, execute traitors, change the US constitution and crown himself Emperor. It’ll mean a new civil war but with Zuckerberg’s control over digital communication, and the active support of Google’s data, along with Dyson’s renewable energy in Musk’s and Bezos’ spaceships he’ll win by using the existing means of intellectual production.
What’s intellectual production? Antonio asks.
It’s all the lying crap pretending to be true, like news on TV, films, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, the curriculum in schools and universities, and all religious fantasies. Trump’s ideological beliefs are so compelling that America will vote Trump and all his enemies will be Trumped, Nigel howls with laughter.
And the duck told you all this in a dream? Why you?
I told him I was King Charles’ illegitimate son.
The fuckwit duck believed you?
He’s not an expert on the English monarchy. I‘m his English standard bearer. 
On a white charger like some latter-day Lone Ranger? Never. This isn’t America, England’s a parliamentary democracy.
Parliamentary democracy is the scam the ruling class use as a barricade behind which their power remains undiminished. Nothing will ever change, until they’re destroyed, and a new world order is put in place. Citizens, free at last, under Emperor Trump, who’ll make America great again and I’ll make England the same.
It’s madness. 
You wait and see. Don’t forget, you’re an immigrant; we’ll be sending you home.
E’ pericoloso minacciare la mafia! Antonio laughs.

I hope you enjoyed this story. Please feel free to pass it on to others who may be interested. You can read my previous 500 word stories on my website www.philcoskerwriter.com under ‘Writing’.>>>More

© Phil Cosker 2024
Phil Cosker has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. All rights reserved; no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted by any mean, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise without the prior permission of the author.